HOLY COW

IT WAS DECEMBER OF 2016 THAT I STUMBLED ACROSS THE IRONMAN SITE AND CAME ACROSS THE WISCONSIN RACE PACKAGE. THE FIRST EVER IRONMAN WISCONSIN 70.3 (USED TO BE MILKMAN TRIATHLON) AND THEN THE NOT SO FLAT IMOO (TECHNICALLY IMWI) RACES WERE PUT INTO MY CART AND I EARNED SOME MILES ON MY AMEX. WHO KNEW THE NEXT 9 MONTHS WOULD BRING SUCH A CRAZY RIDE. THE LOWS INCLUDED A MEDICAL TENT VISIT AT ROCK N ROLL ARIZONA MARATHON, SANFORD HEALTH TRYING TO KILL ME OVER TONSILLITIS AND THE STILL PAINFUL SKATEBOARDERS VS BLAKE BIKE CRASH. THESE LOWS MADE FOR SOME GREAT HIGHS INCLUDING A MARATHON PR AT GRANDMAS MARATHON, A 1ST PLACE AG AT GRANITEMAN AND THEN TAKING 3RD OVERALL AT THE HARVEST DUATHLON. THE END GOAL WAS IRONMAN WISCONSIN, IF I STILL HAVE YOUR ATTENTION YOU'LL LEARN ABOUT IT BELOW.

THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT THE EARLY MORNING PRIOR TO AN IRONMAN. IT COULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE 3:30AM ALARM OR THE FACT THAT I DON'T THINK ANYONE ACTUALLY GETS ANY SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE BUT THE ENERGY YOU FEEL IS AMAZING. THE ALARMS WENT OFF (YES, MULTIPLE ALARMS BECAUSE OVERSLEEPING BRINGS MORE FEAR THAN THE THOUGHT OF A 140.6 MILE LONG RACE) AND I WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE HOTEL ROOM MINI FRIDGE. IT'S A LONG STORY BUT MY SHERPA, KNOWN AS KIA GETS 100% OF THE CREDIT FOR THE ROOM AND MINI FRIDGE. A BAGEL, YOGURT, APPLE AND SOME OTHER ITEMS WERE CONSUMED AND I PACKED MY SPECIAL NEEDS BAGS AS I ATE. ON WENT THE WATTIE INK HIT SQUAD KIT AND SOME CORNHUSKER SWEATS, I WAS READY TO HEAD TO MONONA TERRACE!

I MANAGED TO DROP MYSELF OFF BASICALLY RIGHT AT THE FINISH LINE AND SAID GOODBYE TO SHERPA KIA WHO LUCKILY GOT TO RETURN TO THE HOTEL AND GO BACK TO BED. I GOT RID OF MY SPECIAL NEEDS BAGS AT THE DROP OFF SITE AND FOUND MY WAY TO BODY MARKING AND TRANSITION. EVERYONE HAS THIER OWN RACE MORNING ROUTINE BUT THERE ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE AN AWKWARD SILENCE SURROUNDING TRANSITION BESIDES THE FAMOUS LINE OF "CAN I USE YOUR BIKE PUMP?" I GOT MY SHARPIE TATOO AND VISITED THE TREK GUYS TO GET STEALTHS TIRES PUMPED UP, IT WAS NOW TIME TO TAKE IN THE SWIM COURSE AND GET THE WETSUIT ON. IT WAS AT THIS POINT THAT THE FEAT AHEAD OF ME GOT REAL.

IF YOU HAVE EVERY WATCHED THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP IN KONA, YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING THE MASS START IS. IMWI USED TO BE THIS SAME WAY BUT WAS CHANGED TO A 6 WAVE MASS START FOR THE SWIM. THE PROS WERE IN WAVE 1, I WAS IN WAVE 2 ALONG WITH 400+ OTHER ATHLETES WHICH MADE FOR A HAVOC FILLED START. AS THE CANON WAS FIRED, IT WAS ALL OUT WAR WITH SOME OF THESE ATHLETES, IT WAS LIKE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. ARMS AND LEGS FLYING EVERYWHERE, TUGGING AND GRABBING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. I DON'T THINK I FOUND CLEAN WATER UNTIL I WAS AT THE MIDWAY POINT ON THE SWIM, IT WAS NUTS! SWIMMING IS CLEARLY MY WEAKEST ASPECT BUT I CAN'T BE TOO UPSET WITH THE 1:49 PACE I MANAGED WITH ONLY DOING ONE SWIM OVER 2 MILES DURING MY TRAINING. I WAS JUST HAPPY TO SEE THOSE WET SUIT STRIPPERS, WAIT, THE WET SUIT PEELERS FOR YOU IDIOTS WHO ARE DESTROYING AMERICA. IT WAS TIME TO RACE UP THE PARKING RAMP HELIX AND GRAB STEALTH.

T1 WAS ACTUALLY INSIDE A BALLROOM OF THE MONONA TERRACE WHICH MADE FOR A PRETTY EASY TRANSITION. A VOLUNTEER HAD STEALTH READY FOR ME AND WE WERE OFF, OFF ONTO THE HARDEST BIKE COURSE IN North America...WOOF. IRONMAN HAS A PUBLISHED ELEVATION GAIN OF 4,900 FEET FOR THE COURSE. AS WE FOUND OUT LATER WITH OUR GARMIN/STRAVA DATA, EITHER THEY BLATANTLY LIE OR OUR WATCHES AND BIKE COMPUTERS ARE ALL BROKEN. YOU CAN BE THE JUDGE ON THAT. I USUALLY LIKE THE BIKE PORTION THE BEST, STEALTH AND I HAVE A PRETTY GREAT RELATIONSHIP. FOR THIS 112 MILE RIDE, IT WAS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT. MY LITTLE INCIDENT ON THE BIKE TRAIL THAT RESULTED IN A ER VISIT LEFT ME WITH A INJURED SHOULDER AND AN ELBOW THAT IS STILL HEALING. FOR THIS RACE, THAT MEANT NOT BEING ABLE TO BE IN THE AERO POSITION AS MUCH AS I WOULD PREFER. SOMETHING THAT I HAVE LEARNT THOUGH IS THAT YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THE CONTROLLABLE ITEMS DURING THESE RACES. I CRASHED, I WAS INJURED AND I HAD TO EMBRACE THE SUCK AND MAKE SURE I GOT MYSELF TO T2 AND THE RUN.

AT SOME POINT YOU HAVE HEARD THE STORY FROM A PARENT OR GRANDPARENT ABOUT HAVING TO WALK UPHILL BOTH WAYS AS THEY WENT TO SCHOOL. TURNS OUT, THEY WERE TELLING THE TRUTH, THAT IS IF THEY LIVED ON THE IMWI BIKE COURSE! WITH THIS, THERE IS ONE SECTION OF THE COURSE THAT IS FAMOUS ENOUGH PEOPLE MAKE T-SHIRTS ABOUT IT. THESE SHIRTS HAVE ONE SIMPLE LITTLE PHRASE ON THEM, "BUCK FARLOW" AND I THINK YOU CAN FIGURE THAT OUT ON YOUR OWN. BARLOW HILL IS PACKED WITH VOLUNTEERS AND SPECTATORS. WHAT LITTLE ROOM IS LEFT ON THE SHOULDER IS TAKEN UP BY PEOPLE WHO DECIDE TO WALK THIER BIKE UP THE HILL. FOR ME, THAT WASN'T EVEN AN OPTION. EMBRACING THE SUCK OF BARLOW WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT FINISHER MEDAL THAT MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE! BESIDES THE HILLS ONTOP OF HILLS, THERE WERE SOME GREAT DOWNHILL PORTIONS, SOME STRAIGHT AND SOME CURVY. THE FEW TIMES I DID GLANCE AT MY GARMIN, THE SPEEDS WERE NORTH OF 40 MPH WHICH IS SCARY FAST FOR THIS GUY WITH THE RECENT CRASH. THANK GOD STEALTH GOT ME HOME SAFE. ON A SIDE NOTE, THIS BIKE COURSE WAS INCREDIBLE. IT FELT LIKE YOU WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF BFE (ALSO KNOW AS RURAL WISCONSIN) AND THERE WERE STILL SPECTATORS OUT THERE CHEERING US ON. AT TIMES, I THOUGHT IT WAS HALLOWEEN WITH ALL THE CRAZY COSTUMES PEOPLE WERE WEARING, JUST A UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE.

LIKE T1, T2 WAS A BALLROOM. I ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT THERE THANKS TO A GUY WHO WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE THE HELIX THAT HE FORGOT TO SHIFT HIS FELT. THAT WIDE OPEN GEAR WE WERE USING AS WE NEARED MONONA TERRACE DOESN'T WORK WELL GOING UP THE PARKING RAMP. I THINK HE TRIED SHIFTING ABOUT 6 GEARS AT ONCE AND HIS CHAIN FLEW OFF THE CHAINRING AND HE WENT DOWN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. TO THIS POINT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I DIDN'T CRASH. SOMEHOW I DARTED AROUND HIM AND HIS BIKE, MISSED THE CEMENT WALL AND EVEN MANAGED NOT TO WET MYSELF! BY THE TIME I WAS OUT OF T2 WITH MY RUNNING GEAR MY HEART RATE WAS ABOUT NORMAL AND READY FOR OUR COOLDOWN...THE MARATHON.

FOR MOST, JUST THE THOUGHT OF TOEING UP TO THE START LINE OF A MARATHON IS A DAUNTING TASK. ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND A MARATHON IS A 26.2 MILE RUN. FOR US AT IRONMAN WISCONSIN, WE WERE ALREADY 114.4 MILES IN AND JUST GETTING TO THE EASY PART. IF YOU WANT TO STOP SWIMMING YOU DROWN, IF YOU STOP PEDALING YOU FALL OFF YOUR BIKE, WHEN YOU ARE TIRED ON THE RUN, YOU GET TO WALK! THE GOAL WAS TO GET TO THE HALF MARATHON POINT WITH ONLY WALKING THE AID STATIONS. I CAN'T REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT TOOK PLACE BUT I THINK I WAS ABLE TO STICK TO THE GAME PLAN PRETTY CLOSE. THE BEST PART ABOUT THE MIDWAY POINT WAS THE SPECIAL NEEDS BAG, FOR ME THAT BAG WAS FILLED WITH TRAIL MIX, A RICE CRISPY BAR AND SNICKERS AND MAN DID IT ALL TASTE GREAT. THERE WAS ONLY ONE PROBLEM, MY STOMACH WAS IN KNOTS AND I WAS EXHAUSTED.

SURE THESE TREATS BROUGHT SHORT TERM HAPPINESS BUT THE LAST 13.1 MILES WERE HELL. THERE COMES A POINT DURING THE RACE WHERE YOU JUST PICK OUT OBJECTS AND TRY TO RUN TO THAT POINT. JUST MAKE IT TO THE NEXT ROAD SIGN OR THE NEXT TREE AND YOU CAN WALK AFTER THAT IS A COMMON THOUGHT ON THAT RUN COURSE. THEN, YOU REACH THAT POINT AND WALK, THEN IT'S A BATTLE TO GET YOURSELF TO RUN AGAIN. I CAN'T SPEAK FOR MY FELLOW TRIATHLETES ON THE COURSE THAT DAY BUT FOR ME, THE SECOND HALF OF THAT RUN COURSE CONSISTED OF 90% MENTAL AND 10% PHYSICAL ABILITY. ABOUT THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME GOING WAS KNOWING THAT THERE WAS A PIECE OF RED AND BLACK CARPET WAITING FOR ME A FEW MILES AHEAD.

AS THE MILE MARKERS KEPT NEARING 26, I THINK THE MIND FINALY IGNORED ALL THOSE ANNOYING HILLS ON THE RUN COURSE AND WITH ABOUT A 5K LEFT TO GO, I DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO JUST SUCK IT UP. YOU GET AN OCCASIONAL PEAK AT THE CAPITOL BUILDING ALONG WITH SOME ROCK MUSIC AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU CAN HEAR MIKE REILLY'S VOICE AS YOU INCH YOUR WAY TO THE FINISH LINE. THE VERY SECOND YOU MAKE THAT LAST TURN AND SEE THE RED CARPET YOU GET A FEELING THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO DESCRIBING. AT THIS POINT YOU HAVE PUT YOUR MIND AND BODY THROUGH HELL AND BACK BUT WHEN YOU MAKE STRIDES ON THAT IRONMAN CARPET, YOU FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS. ALL YOUR PAIN IS GONE AND YOUR PACE IS PROBABLY THE FASTEST IT HAS BEEN ALL DAY. ALL THAT TRAINING AND RACING IS REWARDED AS THOSE VOLUNTEERS TAKE OFF YOUR TIMING CHIP AND HANG THAT MEDAL AROUND YOUR NECK. IT'S AT THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU CAN TAKE A BREATH AND REALIZE YOU ARE AN IRONMAN. FOR SOME IT WAS THIER FIRST WHILE OTHERS WERE DOUBLE DIGIT IM FINISHERS BUT WE ALL HAD SOMETHING IN COMMON. WHETHER YOU CRUSHED THE COURSE IN 9 HOURS OR YOU WERE THE FINAL FINISHER AT MIDNIGHT, WE ALL ACHIEVED SOMETHING A VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE WORLD CAN SAY THEY HAVE DONE. ON THIS DAY, WE CELEBRATED MONTHS OF HARD WORK AND BECAME PART OF THE .01% OF THE WORLD WHO HAVE TACKLED THE 140.6 MILE RACE KNOWN AS IRONMAN.

IRONMAN, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

YOU SEE A LOT OF CRAZY THINGS ALONG THE COURSE. SURE THERE ARE CRAZY SPECTATORS IN COSTUMES AND SPEEDOS BUT THEN YOU SEE THINGS LIKE THIS. THE WORLD IS FULL OF HATE AND VIOLENCE. PEOPLE BEING SHOT AND KILLED JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE A POLICE OFFICER, PEOPLE FINDING EVERY EXCUSE TO PROTEST AND AMERICANS WHO ARE TOO GOOD TO STAND FOR OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM. I WANT YOU TO MEET WALTER AND PATRICK. PATRICK HAS CEREBRAL PALSY AND SPENDS HIS LIFE IN A WHEELCHAIR. ON THAT BEAUTIFUL DAY IN MADISON, HE BECAME AN IRONMAN THANKS TO THE DETERMINATION OF WALTER WHO PULLED, PEDALED AND PUSHED HIM TO THE FINISH LINE. JUST REMEMBER, EVERYDAY YOU WAKE UP YOU HAVE THE PERSONAL DECISION TO BE HAPPY OR NOT, YOUR GLASS CAN BE HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY. CONGRATS PATRICK AND WALTER, WE ARE IRONMAN FINISHERS!

HUGE THANK YOU TO TRIBE MULTISPORT, jake’s BIKES, WATTIE INK AND FRIENDS AND FAMILY!